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One step forward, Two steps back

Several weeks ago I mentioned my life’s work Timothy – a musical according to revelations. No, not the book of ‘Revelation’, but the many revelations from the Lord about Himself that have greatly influenced my walk with Him. It’s been a solitary work with occasional help from unlikely sources. For example, several songs feature instrumental parts played by friends who are not believers. When asked why help me, they simply said “because we love you, Jack”. I was stunned. It was Matthew 25:31-46 in action – unbelievers showing themselves to be sheep by helping a son of God.

The bigger obstacle in recording and mixing music has always been hearing impairment. Where my chief complaint is tinnitus, hearing tests were dismissed with the recommendation “learn to live with it”. Thus my hearing has never been tested. Recently I hired a professional studio engineer to teach me through mixing and mastering the song Resurrection Power, which is the finale of Timothy.

Listening to my young friend’s remix of Resurrection Power, I was unable to hear the subtle changes he would make to affect the sound, nor the cymbals he recorded on the new drum track. In the end, I simply had to trust that he’d delivered a better sounding mix than I can do myself. After our session, I remembered an earlier conversation where he recommended an app that would test a listener’s hearing and plot an equalization curve to correct for any hearing deficiencies. Once installed, I ran the calibration routine, applied the correction curve and replayed the song. The difference was astounding.

Listen to the new mix of Resurrection Power below or click the 3 vertical dots to download the Mp3:

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Whitewashing Babylon

At the time of the attack on the World Trade Center on 9/11/2001, I belonged to an online discussion group frequented by believers who had followed the Holy Spirit’s call to come out of man’s religious system unto Jesus who is outside the camp of men (Hebrews 13:12-14, Revelation 3:20, et al). Several members were a great encouragement to me as I sought to untangle from tradition and rule-bound religion to embrace my freedom in the Spirit. Sadly, following the attack on the WTC the faith of many became a prideful amalgam of politics and religion, often expressed with lust for vengeance. My spirit was sickened by the abrupt and toxic turn from fellowship of the Spirit to fellowship rooted in the bastard child Christian Nationalism that emerged in virulent form immediately after that tragic event.

The experience caused me to reflect on my political views, some of which were shaped through my former employer: Boeing. My support of several Department of Defense projects was brief and peripheral since I worked mostly in the space and computing divisions. Nevertheless, my income was subsidized by the military industrial complex whose influence was inescapable in the work place. That is, until the day the Lord called me to resign and devote myself to the work He had for me. In the years that followed, the Lord gave me an eyeful of the world by holding it up to His Word which proved life changing for me. Where once I would say with confidence “I’m a Presbyterian and a Conservative”, there is no apt description of what Jesus has made me, unless it’s to say “I’m a follower of The Way” (Acts 9:2, et al).

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Debunking Word of Faith Doctrine

With this post, I want to briefly address the Word of Faith doctrine that came up in the 2 part post “When prayers for healing seem to fail” and why I believe it is a false teaching.

Since my 20s when I first heard preachers espouse Word of Faith doctrine (aka: name-it-and-claim-it) with an emphasis on physical healing and prosperity through tithing, I sometimes tried to apply the principles to my own life, but never with any success. I did once overcome a headcold when the Spirit showed me the enemy’s plan to make me sick before an important engagement. Jesus had me rebuke the enemy, who fled from me and I was spared from a week long snot fest.

In my early 40s, The Spirit dealt with the prosperity message by having me study and write about The TITHE Lie. But He never dealt with me concerning Word of Faith belief as it relates to physical healing in this life. So when Karen’s suffering greatly increased last year I took her to a healing ministry where word of faith doctrine is taught and practiced. Thereafter we tried to pray and confess our way to healing for Karen. Though painful and at times desperate, the experience was necessary to teach us God’s Truth and deliver us from the false doctrine of Word of Faith, and to show us the genuine character of God who heals us for no other reason than He loves us. In the end, we learned that a person can do no better than to abandon themselves to God, whose love and mercy is without end (Lamentations 3:22-23).

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A recurring dream and 2 interpretations

Following God’s wake-up call (LINK) He often gave me dreams. Some were for teaching, others for personal direction. I never felt a leading to share any of them with the body of Christ at large though I did sometimes share with a small group of friends to assist with interpretation. It was in receiving the many interpretations that the Father began to teach me discernment of the Spirit from flesh. Sometimes an interpretation is what I call “formula prophetic”, e.g., a car is symbolic of ministry, a woman represents the church, etc. Often such interpretations left me with a reservation in my spirit. There were also times when the Spirit’s interpretation was a long time in coming that I was tempted to accept the formula view in spite of my reservations. “Perhaps my friends see something in me that I can not see in myself”, I reasoned. Thankfully, whenever I was tempted to surrender to the many formula interpretations God rose up to shout His view of the matter.

There are many examples of competing dream interpretations in the old testament; a consensus view and God’s message through a genuine seer. Joseph and Daniel come to mind. What follows is a recurring dream for which I had no interpretation for many years. It’s been a progressive dream where each time I had it there were more details to advance the story just a little bit more.

Recurring Dream

Lined up to race a single lap around an oval track, with many runners dressed in track attire, I was hopeful of finishing strong, perhaps even winning the race. The gun sounded and everyone leapt from the starting line as did I only to discover I was harnessed to a skid piled high with duffel bags. I had noticed the pile from the corner of my eye before the race started and simply assumed the duffel bags held the street clothes of all the other runners. Looking down at the harness, I saw that I was dressed in work clothes which isn’t surprising since I detest skimpy track suits.

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When prayers for healing seem to fail, part 2

In part 1, I marveled at the wisdom of God to set Spirit and flesh in opposition within us; whereby we yield our flesh life back to Him by surrendering to the cross to live instead the spirit life of His Son. And Jesus who in the garden of Gethsemane showed us the depth and breadth of surrender by yielding to the Father’s will for death by crucifixion, rather than assert His own will to be spared. So many promises of God in the Old Testament for personal health, long life, protection, prosperity – Jesus released them all back to the Father for the fulfillment of God’s will. Truly a promise made is a promise kept; the cross simply defers fulfillment to the next life.

So how is it some of us who in claiming to embrace the cross, fail to surrender our will where it pertains to receiving the promises of God in this life? Can we take time to consider the glaring contradiction of being crucified in the flesh while at the same time demanding God heal our flesh? Or insisting on our will over God’s will where healing is concerned? Surrendered hands that should be nailed to the cross instead grabbing at the hem of Christ or clenching fists to shake at God while demanding “you HAVE to heal me because YOUR word says so”. Whose will is on display in that scenario? Surrender means surrender including your will for the fulfillment of God’s promises in your flesh life. Oh, He may heal your flesh, of course, but it’s out of love for you when He does, not because He promised healing in this life, apart from healing your SPIRIT (Ezekiel 36:26-27).

In taking up my cross to follow Jesus like He asked, it’s been my experience that it’s the unfulfilled promises of God that are the nails in my hands and feet (metaphorically speaking). The simple recognition that while God promises to heal me, His word doesn’t say when. The problem comes when we demand His healing on our time table because with death approaching, we think we’re running out of time. But from God’s timeless viewpoint, our physical death is just the beginning of the fullness of life in the Spirit, whereby here in this life the Spirit may be better served if my infirmity remains. God has simplified my view of His word through the over-arching truth that rules over every other scripture – God owns everything including me (Ps 24:1) and His will prevails over mine (Luke 22:42). Thus this life is designed to provoke our unconditional surrender to Christ, where we, too, can say in the face of the cross “Father, not my will, but thine be done”.

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When prayers for healing seem to fail, part 1

The year 2025 was difficult for my wife Karen who suffers from a variety of spinal health issues. For perspective, she’s lost 4 inches in height since graduating from high school. Now a septuagenarian the concern for her is spinal collapse and spending the rest of her life in a wheel chair. Throughout her painful trial, we’ve persisted with God in prayer with fasting where together we have done our best to keep the faith. It’s taught us great admiration for Job, who resisted the suggestion to “curse God and die” and replied “even though He slays me, yet will I praise Him”. Countless times I’ve told her how grateful I am for her unwavering trust in God to heal her infirmity and remain with me in this life despite her physical discomfort. Some would have given up but not my Karen. She is the wife of noble character.

Both of us were born Presbyterians who in adulthood, experienced Pentecost (Acts 2:4), what is commonly called the second blessing. Since that time, we’ve encountered a variety of beliefs about divine healing the most personally frustrating for us holds that the scripture “by my stripes you have been healed” means every infirmity, whether spiritual or physical, has already been healed by Jesus. Thus when healing does not manifest following prayer, the fault must lie with the person who needs healing. Often the reason cited for failure to heal is lack of faith, un-confessed sin, disobedience, etc. It’s a cruel belief that can leave a person in worse shape than before. Illnesses are painful enough… but illness compounded by guilt and self blame? Downright crippling. Such also paints the picture of a less than loving and merciful God; a stern and indifferent parent who simply watches while His children chase healing like a carrot on a stick.

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my Coming Out story

Have you ever heard a brother claim that God called them out of man’s institutional church to follow Jesus alone? If you’re like most believers, you probably thought they lost their mind or shipwrecked their faith. It’s not an unreasonable conclusion for someone who thinks Jesus Church and man’s institutional church are one in the same.

But what if they’re not?

Then I heard another voice from heaven say: “COME OUT of her (religious Babylon), My people, so that you will not share in her sins or contract any of her plagues.” (Rev. 18:4 BSB)

Wait a
minute …
that’s not
the Son …

Throughout the years I’ve asked many questions about things I noticed in man’s institutional church that left me disconcerted. I can’t recall any of them being answered to my satisfaction, rather I was encouraged to focus my attention on all the “good things” churches claim to do. It’s an experience not unlike The Truman Show, when after witnessing an on-set blunder, Truman obediently accepted the frantic explanation and remained trapped in a role he didn’t know he was playing while hemmed in by a cast of handlers and pretenders.

In the real world, how often did I pretend not to see on-set blunders in order to get along in a sick church with serious problems? Where being lumped was my reward for pointing them out? In Truman’s case, it wasn’t until he met the lover of his soul who dared crash the scene that He wanted to escape his prison to find her. As unwitting players in man’s institutional church theater, can we imagine that the Holy Spirit might crash the scene of our phony idyllic Christian production and upend everything we think we know?

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Questions that might get you lumped

When I noticed the pastor read just 10 verses of scripture before the sermon, I began to question whether us pew warmers were getting the whole story? So I counted up all the scriptures in the Bible, divided by 10 per week and 52 weeks per year and discovered it would take nearly 60 years to read the Bible at that rate. Clearly if I wanted to know what was in the Bible, I’d have to read it for myself. Focusing in on Proverbs, it would take 1 year and 9 months at the 10 verse per week rate; however if we took it one proverb at a time which seems logical since each one is sermon worthy, Proverbs would take 17 and 1/2 years! Similarly, instead of 5 months on Ecclesiastes, it would take 4 years and 3 months. So, if we’re honest about the 10 verse per week approach, most of us would die of old age before we finished the Bible at plodding sermon speed. We might be able to bring it in under 80 years if we droned through all the begats in a single Sunday. That sounds like a good mid-summer sermon when half the congregation is out on vacation.

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What’s in a name?

When I had finished recording the podcast episode “Manipulating God”, I heard the Spirit say “don’t just plow the field, plant something”. I took that to mean He wanted me to share what “in Jesus name” means as the Father has taught me. As I began pondering a script for another episode, He said “it’s already written” and reminded me of this blog post that He inspired me to write several years ago. Reading it again gives me a chance to assess the progress He’s made in me, and where I’ve fallen short. Also to elaborate on what He showed me from scripture, originally.

Walking with the Spirit leads to revelation of the sort that exposes our fears and religious ideas. It startles me just how few words spoken by the Spirit have the power to throw down temples made by men and reduce them to rubble. Yet long after my own temple to man’s religious system was destroyed in my sight, there remain a number of buttresses and other fortifications within me that stand in opposition to the Spirit and Truth. As He pummels yet another of my religious relics, I’m reminded once more of Jesus’s declaration in Matthew 24:2 “There shall not be left here one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down.” Whether the physical temple in Jerusalem, or the ideological temples and high places within our minds and hearts, I believe He intends to throw them all down to ruin, that His Spirit and Truth would reign supreme.

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You’ll be Back

Walking in the Lord’s freedom as a son of God, He often wows and amazes me with the things I see and hear along the way. Talking with my wife about something we’ve read in the scriptures or a revelation from the Spirit, we suddenly become aware of doves cooing gently just outside our window. A loving reminder that we are joined by the Holy Spirit in our fellowship together. Or praying for something that weighs upon our hearts, we open our eyes to see a double rainbow over the bay; a reminder that our Father has heard our prayers and that He keep’s His promises. When scattering the combined ashes of mom and dad near the lighthouse, I read a tribute and through tears of thanks, looked up to see two freighters sailing past; the first one called Celebration, the other North Star. Loving reminders that mom and dad are together again in Christ and that I should continue looking to Christ, who always watches over my life and guides my way.

Signs and wonders are frequent for those who follow the Lord and walk according to the Spirit. And sometimes the experiences we have contain a deeper meaning, to be revealed by pondering what we’ve witnessed.

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