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When prayers for healing seem to fail, part 2

In part 1, I marveled at the wisdom of God to set Spirit and flesh in opposition within us; whereby we yield our flesh life back to Him by surrendering to the cross to live instead the spirit life of His Son. And Jesus who in the garden of Gethsemane showed us the depth and breadth of surrender by yielding to the Father’s will for death by crucifixion, rather than assert His own will to be spared. So many promises of God in the Old Testament for personal health, long life, protection, prosperity – Jesus released them all back to the Father for the fulfillment of God’s will. Truly a promise made is a promise kept; the cross simply defers fulfillment to the next life.

So how is it some of us who in claiming to embrace the cross, fail to surrender our will where it pertains to receiving the promises of God in this life? Can we take time to consider the glaring contradiction of being crucified in the flesh while at the same time demanding God heal our flesh? Or insisting on our will over God’s will where healing is concerned? Surrendered hands that should be nailed to the cross instead grabbing at the hem of Christ or clenching fists to shake at God while demanding “you HAVE to heal me because YOUR word says so”. Whose will is on display in that scenario? Surrender means surrender including your will for the fulfillment of God’s promises in your flesh life. Oh, He may heal your flesh, of course, but it’s out of love for you when He does, not because He promised healing in this life, apart from healing your SPIRIT (Ezekiel 36:26-27).

In taking up my cross to follow Jesus like He asked, it’s been my experience that it’s the unfulfilled promises of God that are the nails in my hands and feet (metaphorically speaking). The simple recognition that while God promises to heal me, His word doesn’t say when. The problem comes when we demand His healing on our time table because with death approaching, we think we’re running out of time. But from God’s timeless viewpoint, our physical death is just the beginning of the fullness of life in the Spirit, whereby here in this life the Spirit may be better served if my infirmity remains. God has simplified my view of His word through the over-arching truth that rules over every other scripture – God owns everything including me (Ps 24:1) and His will prevails over mine (Luke 22:42). Thus this life is designed to provoke our unconditional surrender to Christ, where we, too, can say in the face of the cross “Father, not my will, but thine be done”.

Last autumn, my tinnitus turned 50; it’s an annoying condition that’s been squatting in my head ever since my band played for a basement party in cramped quarters. Standing for hours directly in front of a loud guitar amp was more than my young ears could handle without permanent damage. Where Paul prayed 3 times to remove his thorn in the flesh – I’ve prayed for healing from tinnitus since the day it started. Nothing. Oh I still ask once in awhile just to see if God has changed His mind but still, it’s “nope”. It took a while to see it but tinnitus has served a Godly purpose in my life wherein I’m mostly at peace with the condition. As a deep seated introvert, who loves to write after hours spent with the Spirit and the Word, rejoicing with the Lord whenever we unearth a treasure, the tinnitus is reason for me to go deep into the garden of His planting within me – as a place of peace and quiet from the constant squeal in my ears and the obnoxious noise of the world that triggers it. Quiet? I haven’t heard that since I was a teen, except when I’m tending my garden with Jesus, where I hardly notice the incessant noise beyond the walls.

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When prayers for healing seem to fail, part 1

The year 2025 was difficult for my wife Karen who suffers from a variety of spinal health issues. For perspective, she’s lost 4 inches in height since graduating from high school. Now a septuagenarian the concern for her is spinal collapse and spending the rest of her life in a wheel chair. Throughout her painful trial, we’ve persisted with God in prayer with fasting where together we have done our best to keep the faith. It’s taught us great admiration for Job, who resisted the suggestion to “curse God and die” and replied “even though He slays me, yet will I praise Him”. Countless times I’ve told her how grateful I am for her unwavering trust in God to heal her infirmity and remain with me in this life despite her physical discomfort. Some would have given up but not my Karen. She is the wife of noble character.

Both of us were born Presbyterians who in adulthood, experienced Pentecost (Acts 2:4), what is commonly called the second blessing. Since that time, we’ve encountered a variety of beliefs about divine healing the most personally frustrating for us holds that the scripture “by my stripes you have been healed” means every infirmity, whether spiritual or physical, has already been healed by Jesus. Thus when healing does not manifest following prayer, the fault must lie with the person who needs healing. Often the reason cited for failure to heal is lack of faith, un-confessed sin, disobedience, etc. It’s a cruel belief that can leave a person in worse shape than before. Illnesses are painful enough… but illness compounded by guilt and self blame? Downright crippling. Such also paints the picture of a less than loving and merciful God; a stern and indifferent parent who simply watches while His children chase healing like a carrot on a stick.

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my Coming Out story

Have you ever heard a brother claim that God called them out of man’s institutional church to follow Jesus alone? If you’re like most believers, you probably thought they lost their mind or shipwrecked their faith. It’s not an unreasonable conclusion for someone who thinks Jesus Church and man’s institutional church are one in the same.

But what if they’re not?

Then I heard another voice from heaven say: “COME OUT of her (religious Babylon), My people, so that you will not share in her sins or contract any of her plagues.” (Rev. 18:4 BSB)

Wait a
minute …
that’s not
the Son …

Throughout the years I’ve asked many questions about things I noticed in man’s institutional church that left me disconcerted. I can’t recall any of them being answered to my satisfaction, rather I was encouraged to focus my attention on all the “good things” churches claim to do. It’s an experience not unlike The Truman Show, when after witnessing an on-set blunder, Truman obediently accepted the frantic explanation and remained trapped in a role he didn’t know he was playing while hemmed in by a cast of handlers and pretenders.

In the real world, how often did I pretend not to see on-set blunders in order to get along in a sick church with serious problems? Where being lumped was my reward for pointing them out? In Truman’s case, it wasn’t until he met the lover of his soul who dared crash the scene that He wanted to escape his prison to find her. As unwitting players in man’s institutional church theater, can we imagine that the Holy Spirit might crash the scene of our phony idyllic Christian production and upend everything we think we know?

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Questions that might get you lumped

When I noticed the pastor read just 10 verses of scripture before the sermon, I began to question whether us pew warmers were getting the whole story? So I counted up all the scriptures in the Bible, divided by 10 per week and 52 weeks per year and discovered it would take nearly 60 years to read the Bible at that rate. Clearly if I wanted to know what was in the Bible, I’d have to read it for myself. Focusing in on Proverbs, it would take 1 year and 9 months at the 10 verse per week rate; however if we took it one proverb at a time which seems logical since each one is sermon worthy, Proverbs would take 17 and 1/2 years! Similarly, instead of 5 months on Ecclesiastes, it would take 4 years and 3 months. So, if we’re honest about the 10 verse per week approach, most of us would die of old age before we finished the Bible at plodding sermon speed. We might be able to bring it in under 80 years if we droned through all the begats in a single Sunday. That sounds like a good mid-summer sermon when half the congregation is out on vacation.

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What’s in a name?

When I had finished recording the podcast episode “Manipulating God”, I heard the Spirit say “don’t just plow the field, plant something”. I took that to mean He wanted me to share what “in Jesus name” means as the Father has taught me. As I began pondering a script for another episode, He said “it’s already written” and reminded me of this blog post that He inspired me to write several years ago. Reading it again gives me a chance to assess the progress He’s made in me, and where I’ve fallen short. Also to elaborate on what He showed me from scripture, originally.

Walking with the Spirit leads to revelation of the sort that exposes our fears and religious ideas. It startles me just how few words spoken by the Spirit have the power to throw down temples made by men and reduce them to rubble. Yet long after my own temple to man’s religious system was destroyed in my sight, there remain a number of buttresses and other fortifications within me that stand in opposition to the Spirit and Truth. As He pummels yet another of my religious relics, I’m reminded once more of Jesus’s declaration in Matthew 24:2 “There shall not be left here one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down.” Whether the physical temple in Jerusalem, or the ideological temples and high places within our minds and hearts, I believe He intends to throw them all down to ruin, that His Spirit and Truth would reign supreme.

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You’ll be Back

Walking in the Lord’s freedom as a son of God, He often wows and amazes me with the things I see and hear along the way. Talking with my wife about something we’ve read in the scriptures or a revelation from the Spirit, we suddenly become aware of doves cooing gently just outside our window. A loving reminder that we are joined by the Holy Spirit in our fellowship together. Or praying for something that weighs upon our hearts, we open our eyes to see a double rainbow over the bay; a reminder that our Father has heard our prayers and that He keep’s His promises. When scattering the combined ashes of mom and dad near the lighthouse, I read a tribute and through tears of thanks, looked up to see two freighters sailing past; the first one called Celebration, the other North Star. Loving reminders that mom and dad are together again in Christ and that I should continue looking to Christ, who always watches over my life and guides my way.

Signs and wonders are frequent for those who follow the Lord and walk according to the Spirit. And sometimes the experiences we have contain a deeper meaning, to be revealed by pondering what we’ve witnessed.

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Buzzed with wonder

While out running errands one gloomy winter afternoon, my wife and I pulled into the drive through and spotted a hummingbird sipping nectar from a feeder hung above the porch. Surprised by the sight, I asked the barista about it and was told the Anna’s hummingbird winters over here on the Olympic peninsula. Once home we found an old feeder mom had and made a batch of nectar to hang in front of the picture window. For several months, there was one hummingbird who visited throughout the day and a single batch of nectar seemed to last indefinitely; that is, until the local hummingbird experts scolded us for not cleaning the feeder and changing nectar regularly.

Hoping to attract more hummingbirds in late spring, we added 2 more feeders and within days, our little outdoor bistro was “discovered”. Turns out that there are two types of hummingbirds here, iridescent green and red Anna’s, which winter over, and the smaller orange and brown Rufous, which migrate. Daily my wife, our cat Tigger and I, are dazzled by their amazing displays of aerial acrobatics the likes of which any “Top Gun” can only dream.

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Here lies Goliath

My mom, oldest of her siblings, was abandoned after her birth mother had several more children with a different man. Mom was taken in and adopted by an aunt who turned abusive and mom in turn filed for emancipation. With the help of social services, she hoped to make a home with her birth father, an alcoholic, but he refused to give up drinking. Finally, mom moved in with the family of her best girlfriend until she finished high school and married my dad. They were married a few weeks shy of 50 years, the last 3-1/2 dad cared for mom following a crippling stroke. It was during those years mom came to trust in the love dad had for her and rest assured she would never be abandoned again.

So we learn from our parents, right?

Mom and dad raised me to be polite, kind, respectful and Christian. Unfortunately, I was also raised to be insecure and prone to self-blame. Unintended of course, but in a home with such an undercurrent of emotion and me an empath, I learned my self worth hung on the approval and acceptance of others.

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Manipulating God

When I was young in the faith; and by that I mean stupidly immature, my approach to God’s Word was like that of an attorney who pours over the fine print of a contract to identify beneficial provisions and hold God’s feet to the fire to fulfill every last one of them for me. In so doing, I was trying to use God in a selfish and manipulative way to do what I wanted. Never did I pause to think about the inference of what I was doing, using scripture to back God into a corner so He had to do what He said He would do, as if God were a liar or swindler. Yeesh!

And yet, I’ve seen churches and individuals do that very thing, forever. For example, Matthew 18:20 in the Contemporary English Version says:

Whenever two or three of you come together in my name, I am there with you.

That wording seems to beg the question can any 2 believers decide to get together, invoke “Jesus name” and thereby compel Him to join them?

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Sabbath unRest

It was a real blessing to take part in a traditional Jewish Seder meal and listen to the Messianic Jewish host explain the meaning and significance of each element of the meal. When we were finished, the host encouraged all the Christian participants to observe the traditional Jewish Sabbath. It was a moving experience and launched me into prayerful study to determine how my wife and I should approach the Sabbath. In the end, neither my wife nor I felt led to observe it on a weekly basis as do the Jews. Speaking for myself, I felt that way long before ever attending the Seder meal. What the study did do for me was to show me why I feel the way I do about traditional Sabbath observance. Such is not unusual, for simple discernment often precedes deeper understanding.

Controversial as the subject is and having had my fill of so many self-appointed defenders of man’s religious kingdom who are threatened by the many tithe articles the Father led me to write, I never figured to write anything about the Sabbath. That is until recently when I heard a man argue for keeping the 4th commandment with the following twisted logic: “I recently informed my wife that I will begin sleeping with other women because of this new found freedom (that) I have in Christ to disregard the 7th commandment which says ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery’.” The man’s inference being IF in Christ the 4th commandment concerning the Sabbath no longer applies, then neither does the 7th commandment concerning Adultery. I hope dear friends, that you find the man’s crass and manipulative analogy as nauseating as I do.

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