My mom, oldest of her siblings, was abandoned after her birth mother had several more children with a different man. Mom was taken in and adopted by an aunt who turned abusive and mom in turn filed for emancipation. With the help of social services, she hoped to make a home with her birth father, an alcoholic, but he refused to give up drinking. Finally, mom moved in with the family of her best girlfriend until she finished high school and married my dad. They were married a few weeks shy of 50 years, the last 3-1/2 dad cared for mom following a crippling stroke. It was during those years mom came to trust in the love dad had for her and rest assured she would never be abandoned again.

So we learn from our parents, right?

Mom and dad raised me to be polite, kind, respectful and Christian. Unfortunately, I was also raised to be insecure and prone to self-blame. Unintended of course, but in a home with such an undercurrent of emotion and me an empath, I learned my self worth hung on the approval and acceptance of others.

When the Lord prompted us to move to the mid-west from the Seattle area back in 1999, He gave me a dream that I did not understand until after we had left the institutional church the Lord sent us too.

The Dream

I was driving a white 1965 Mercury Monterey convertible with light blue interior. Ahead were the gates of what looked like an old west log fort. The gates swung open and I drove in. The church the Lord sent me to was near the back of the compound. After parking in front of the church, I exited the car and went around to the trunk to collect the gifts I’d brought for the church. From everywhere it seemed, child-like dwarfs emerged and surrounded me. As I began to show the gifts I’d brought, they began snatching them from my hands, treating them with disrespect, grabbing gifts from the trunk and throwing them back after handling them carelessly. Several were letting the air out of the tires and kicking the side panels, while others were jumping up and down on the seats.