my Coming Out story

Have you ever heard a brother claim that God called them out of man’s institutional church to follow Jesus alone? If you’re like most believers, you probably thought they lost their mind or shipwrecked their faith. It’s not an unreasonable conclusion for someone who thinks Jesus Church and man’s institutional church are one in the same.

But what if they’re not?

Then I heard another voice from heaven say: “COME OUT of her (religious Babylon), My people, so that you will not share in her sins or contract any of her plagues.” (Rev. 18:4 BSB)

Wait a
minute …
that’s not
the Son …

Throughout the years I’ve asked many questions about things I noticed in man’s institutional church that left me disconcerted. I can’t recall any of them being answered to my satisfaction, rather I was encouraged to focus my attention on all the “good things” churches claim to do. It’s an experience not unlike The Truman Show, when after witnessing an on-set blunder, Truman obediently accepted the frantic explanation and remained trapped in a role he didn’t know he was playing while hemmed in by a cast of handlers and pretenders.

In the real world, how often did I pretend not to see on-set blunders in order to get along in a sick church with serious problems? Where being lumped was my reward for pointing them out? In Truman’s case, it wasn’t until he met the lover of his soul who dared crash the scene that He wanted to escape his prison to find her. As unwitting players in man’s institutional church theater, can we imagine that the Holy Spirit might crash the scene of our phony idyllic Christian production and upend everything we think we know?

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Questions that might get you lumped

When I noticed the pastor read just 10 verses of scripture before the sermon, I began to question whether us pew warmers were getting the whole story? So I counted up all the scriptures in the Bible, divided by 10 per week and 52 weeks per year and discovered it would take nearly 60 years to read the Bible at that rate. Clearly if I wanted to know what was in the Bible, I’d have to read it for myself. Focusing in on Proverbs, it would take 1 year and 9 months at the 10 verse per week rate; however if we took it one proverb at a time which seems logical since each one is sermon worthy, Proverbs would take 17 and 1/2 years! Similarly, instead of 5 months on Ecclesiastes, it would take 4 years and 3 months. So, if we’re honest about the 10 verse per week approach, most of us would die of old age before we finished the Bible at plodding sermon speed. We might be able to bring it in under 80 years if we droned through all the begats in a single Sunday. That sounds like a good mid-summer sermon when half the congregation is out on vacation.

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What’s in a name?

When I had finished recording the podcast episode “Manipulating God”, I heard the Spirit say “don’t just plow the field, plant something”. I took that to mean He wanted me to share what “in Jesus name” means as the Father has taught me. As I began pondering a script for another episode, He said “it’s already written” and reminded me of this blog post that He inspired me to write several years ago. Reading it again gives me a chance to assess the progress He’s made in me, and where I’ve fallen short. Also to elaborate on what He showed me from scripture, originally.

Walking with the Spirit leads to revelation of the sort that exposes our fears and religious ideas. It startles me just how few words spoken by the Spirit have the power to throw down temples made by men and reduce them to rubble. Yet long after my own temple to man’s religious system was destroyed in my sight, there remain a number of buttresses and other fortifications within me that stand in opposition to the Spirit and Truth. As He pummels yet another of my religious relics, I’m reminded once more of Jesus’s declaration in Matthew 24:2 “There shall not be left here one stone upon another, that shall not be thrown down.” Whether the physical temple in Jerusalem, or the ideological temples and high places within our minds and hearts, I believe He intends to throw them all down to ruin, that His Spirit and Truth would reign supreme.

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You’ll be Back

Walking in the Lord’s freedom as a son of God, He often wows and amazes me with the things I see and hear along the way. Talking with my wife about something we’ve read in the scriptures or a revelation from the Spirit, we suddenly become aware of doves cooing gently just outside our window. A loving reminder that we are joined by the Holy Spirit in our fellowship together. Or praying for something that weighs upon our hearts, we open our eyes to see a double rainbow over the bay; a reminder that our Father has heard our prayers and that He keep’s His promises. When scattering the combined ashes of mom and dad near the lighthouse, I read a tribute and through tears of thanks, looked up to see two freighters sailing past; the first one called Celebration, the other North Star. Loving reminders that mom and dad are together again in Christ and that I should continue looking to Christ, who always watches over my life and guides my way.

Signs and wonders are frequent for those who follow the Lord and walk according to the Spirit. And sometimes the experiences we have contain a deeper meaning, to be revealed by pondering what we’ve witnessed.

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Buzzed with wonder

While out running errands one gloomy winter afternoon, my wife and I pulled into the drive through and spotted a hummingbird sipping nectar from a feeder hung above the porch. Surprised by the sight, I asked the barista about it and was told the Anna’s hummingbird winters over here on the Olympic peninsula. Once home we found an old feeder mom had and made a batch of nectar to hang in front of the picture window. For several months, there was one hummingbird who visited throughout the day and a single batch of nectar seemed to last indefinitely; that is, until the local hummingbird experts scolded us for not cleaning the feeder and changing nectar regularly.

Hoping to attract more hummingbirds in late spring, we added 2 more feeders and within days, our little outdoor bistro was “discovered”. Turns out that there are two types of hummingbirds here, iridescent green and red Anna’s, which winter over, and the smaller orange and brown Rufous, which migrate. Daily my wife, our cat Tigger and I, are dazzled by their amazing displays of aerial acrobatics the likes of which any “Top Gun” can only dream.

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Here lies Goliath

My mom, oldest of her siblings, was abandoned after her birth mother had several more children with a different man. Mom was taken in and adopted by an aunt who turned abusive and mom in turn filed for emancipation. With the help of social services, she hoped to make a home with her birth father, an alcoholic, but he refused to give up drinking. Finally, mom moved in with the family of her best girlfriend until she finished high school and married my dad. They were married a few weeks shy of 50 years, the last 3-1/2 dad cared for mom following a crippling stroke. It was during those years mom came to trust in the love dad had for her and rest assured she would never be abandoned again.

So we learn from our parents, right?

Mom and dad raised me to be polite, kind, respectful and Christian. Unfortunately, I was also raised to be insecure and prone to self-blame. Unintended of course, but in a home with such an undercurrent of emotion and me an empath, I learned my self worth hung on the approval and acceptance of others.

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Manipulating God

When I was young in the faith; and by that I mean stupidly immature, my approach to God’s Word was like that of an attorney who pours over the fine print of a contract to identify beneficial provisions and hold God’s feet to the fire to fulfill every last one of them for me. In so doing, I was trying to use God in a selfish and manipulative way to do what I wanted. Never did I pause to think about the inference of what I was doing, using scripture to back God into a corner so He had to do what He said He would do, as if God were a liar or swindler. Yeesh!

And yet, I’ve seen churches and individuals do that very thing, forever. For example, Matthew 18:20 in the Contemporary English Version says:

Whenever two or three of you come together in my name, I am there with you.

That wording seems to beg the question can any 2 believers decide to get together, invoke “Jesus name” and thereby compel Him to join them?

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Sabbath unRest

It was a real blessing to take part in a traditional Jewish Seder meal and listen to the Messianic Jewish host explain the meaning and significance of each element of the meal. When we were finished, the host encouraged all the Christian participants to observe the traditional Jewish Sabbath. It was a moving experience and launched me into prayerful study to determine how my wife and I should approach the Sabbath. In the end, neither my wife nor I felt led to observe it on a weekly basis as do the Jews. Speaking for myself, I felt that way long before ever attending the Seder meal. What the study did do for me was to show me why I feel the way I do about traditional Sabbath observance. Such is not unusual, for simple discernment often precedes deeper understanding.

Controversial as the subject is and having had my fill of so many self-appointed defenders of man’s religious kingdom who are threatened by the many tithe articles the Father led me to write, I never figured to write anything about the Sabbath. That is until recently when I heard a man argue for keeping the 4th commandment with the following twisted logic: “I recently informed my wife that I will begin sleeping with other women because of this new found freedom (that) I have in Christ to disregard the 7th commandment which says ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery’.” The man’s inference being IF in Christ the 4th commandment concerning the Sabbath no longer applies, then neither does the 7th commandment concerning Adultery. I hope dear friends, that you find the man’s crass and manipulative analogy as nauseating as I do.

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Eye-opener: Sheep or Goat?

Reading from Matthew 25:31-40 it says: “When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne. (32) Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. (33) And he will place the sheep on his right, but the goats on the left. (34) Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. (35) For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, (36) I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ (37) Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? (38) And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? (39) And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ (40) And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’

Did you notice that there are 3 groups of people in that story: “sheep”, “goats”, and “my brothers.” All too often when people read that passage, they see only 2 of the 3 groups, “sheep” and “goats”. When interpreting it, readers tend to assume that the “sheep” and “my brothers” are one in the same. If that’s correct, then for all practical purposes Jesus is commending the “sheep” for serving themselves, feeding themselves, clothing themselves, visiting themselves, etc. In what seems to me like a serious contradiction, Jesus condemns the “goats” for serving themselves. Thus the only difference between the sheep and goats is that the sheep served themselves in community, whereas the goats served themselves selfishly. For that reason, together with a closer look at the original Greek language, I reject the 2 group view of the sheep and goats story.

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The Cleaving Diet

1988 was the first time I lost 100 pounds. I’d dieted before and lost as much as 40 pounds but this was the big one; the diet to end all diets. Reaching my ideal goal weight according to a medically accepted height to weight table, took 10 months on a pre-packaged meal plan with rigorous daily exercise. Naturally, when I reached my goal weight, friends and family were thrilled and wanted to celebrate my success with a festive meal. Here and there I slipped a bit, all the while reassuring myself I could balance out the pounds gained by cutting back “next week”. But next week never came.

A year later, I had regained all the weight and then some. Compliments ceased and my self-esteem nose-dived. When finally I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism, I hoped it would be the solution to my obesity. Sadly, the pounds so easily gained with a slow metabolism, didn’t come off when I began taking Synthroid. At least I had more energy and my frequent bouts with lightheadedness subsided, caused by very low blood pressure and a slow heart rate. Still it saddens me that 5 or 6 doctors over as many years didn’t suspect thyroid problems in a chronically dizzy and exhausted fat man with the resting heart rate of a marathon runner.

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