In part 1, I marveled at the wisdom of God to set Spirit and flesh in opposition within us; whereby we yield our flesh life back to Him by surrendering to the cross to live instead the spirit life of His Son. And Jesus who in the garden of Gethsemane showed us the depth and breadth of surrender by yielding to the Father’s will for death by crucifixion, rather than assert His own will to be spared. So many promises of God in the Old Testament for personal health, long life, protection, prosperity – Jesus released them all back to the Father for the fulfillment of God’s will. Truly a promise made is a promise kept; the cross simply defers fulfillment to the next life.

So how is it some of us who in claiming to embrace the cross, fail to surrender our will where it pertains to receiving the promises of God in this life? Can we take time to consider the glaring contradiction of being crucified in the flesh while at the same time demanding God heal our flesh? Or insisting on our will over God’s will where healing is concerned? Surrendered hands that should be nailed to the cross instead grabbing at the hem of Christ or clenching fists to shake at God while demanding “you HAVE to heal me because YOUR word says so”. Whose will is on display in that scenario? Surrender means surrender including your will for the fulfillment of God’s promises in your flesh life. Oh, He may heal your flesh, of course, but it’s out of love for you when He does, not because He promised healing in this life, apart from healing your SPIRIT (Ezekiel 36:26-27).

In taking up my cross to follow Jesus like He asked, it’s been my experience that it’s the unfulfilled promises of God that are the nails in my hands and feet (metaphorically speaking). The simple recognition that while God promises to heal me, His word doesn’t say when. The problem comes when we demand His healing on our time table because with death approaching, we think we’re running out of time. But from God’s timeless viewpoint, our physical death is just the beginning of the fullness of life in the Spirit, whereby here in this life the Spirit may be better served if my infirmity remains. God has simplified my view of His word through the over-arching truth that rules over every other scripture – God owns everything including me (Ps 24:1) and His will prevails over mine (Luke 22:42). Thus this life is designed to provoke our unconditional surrender to Christ, where we, too, can say in the face of the cross “Father, not my will, but thine be done”.

Last autumn, my tinnitus turned 50; it’s an annoying condition that’s been squatting in my head ever since my band played for a basement party in cramped quarters. Standing for hours directly in front of a loud guitar amp was more than my young ears could handle without permanent damage. Where Paul prayed 3 times to remove his thorn in the flesh – I’ve prayed for healing from tinnitus since the day it started. Nothing. Oh I still ask once in awhile just to see if God has changed His mind but still, it’s “nope”. It took a while to see it but tinnitus has served a Godly purpose in my life wherein I’m mostly at peace with the condition. As a deep seated introvert, who loves to write after hours spent with the Spirit and the Word, rejoicing with the Lord whenever we unearth a treasure, the tinnitus is reason for me to go deep into the garden of His planting within me – as a place of peace and quiet from the constant squeal in my ears and the obnoxious noise of the world that triggers it. Quiet? I haven’t heard that since I was a teen, except when I’m tending my garden with Jesus, where I hardly notice the incessant noise beyond the walls.