Three times the Lord said “Open wide your mouth and I will fill it” (Psalm 81:10) and each time I responded with fear. When I opened my mouth to give voice to my ignorance for the 3rd time, the Holy Spirit washed over and through me in what felt like a flood of warm pure love. At the same time, it felt as if His hand took hold of my tongue and stretched it out until something hard and lifeless broke off from the end of it and I began speaking in a new language I’d never heard before. Overcome with emotion, tears of joy ran down my face as the words which could only have been highest praise for almighty God rushed from my tongue. For several hours I didn’t speak another word of English except to confess “I can’t believe I ever feared You”.

In Revelation 12:11 John wrote: “They conquered the accuser of the brethren by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.”

When it comes to teachings about overcoming the adversary, teachers often seem to ignore Revelation 12:11 and favor Matthew 4:1-11 wherein Jesus rebuked the devil 3 times by reciting scripture. For all the messages I’ve heard and read that admonish believers to do the same, you would think Revelation 12:11 actually said:

They conquered the accuser of the brethren by reciting scripture.

*That’s Bedpan duty D.U.T.Y, not D.O.O.D.Y. If you, if you were wondering, I mean.

About the time a person starts to think they’ve got it all figured out, the Lord will send along a lesson to reset your perspective. For us it was a funny lesson about the power of personality. The small country church we attended for several months wanted to revive a helps ministry known as the “Community Angels”. The woman spearheading the effort was bubbly and enthusiastic about it and my wife responded with excitement in kind. They met and discussed ideas, eventually coming up with a framework for the ministry and a presentation for the congregation to kick it all off.

Jesus washing the disciples feet has often left me wondering whether He intended a greater lesson for us than to simply marvel at His humble servant-hood. It’s John 13 that records the event which says when Jesus had finished washing their feet, He asked:

Do you understand what I have done to you? (John 13:12)

In trying to grasp the significance of what He did, it is well to remember that Jesus remained with the disciples for 40 days following His resurrection. Surely Jesus could have found the time to wash their feet then, rather than on the night of His betrayal. Mere hours before His arrest, trial, flogging and crucifixion, Jesus must have been in emotional agony. Yet, Jesus concern was for the disciples who would be wounded by His death and scattered by the persecution that followed. Jesus knew they would be overcome with guilt and shame for denying Him and therefore potentially reluctant to return and face Him. By washing their feet before they deserted Him, Jesus laid the groundwork of grace and prepared the way for the disciples to be reconciled to Himself. In so doing, Jesus reassured them of His love and the forgiveness that awaited them when eventually they did sin against Him.

That scene where Peter makes his enlightened confession of Christ leads me to ponder. As I recall from scripture, only Peter, James and John witnessed the transfiguration. Before that, the 12, just like everyone else, saw the natural man Jesus, with their natural eyes. Asked “Who do people say that I am?”, there was no risk for the disciples to answer Jesus’ question; they simply repeated what they’d heard. Not once did Jesus say “BZZT! Wrong!” Even when some of the answers were preposterous. “John the Baptist? Someone thought I was John the Baptist? He baptized Me! How could I be him?!?” No, Jesus just listened. But then He asked the $64,000 question; one fraught with risk for the disciples. Did fear of speaking foolishly make for a complete silence? How long did the crickets chirp?

It was Peter who declared what man can see only with eyes opened by God:

“You are the Christ – Son of the Living God”.

How I admire Peter’s willingness to take a risk and get out of the boat again – casting off the safety net of group conformity and boldly declaring his faith.

I watched a man hobble out of the post office to his car, laboring over each step while leaning on a cane for support. With so many elderly in our community, it is fairly common to see people who are struggling with failing health. My heart goes out to them and often I find myself quietly praying for their healing and comfort.

As I prayed for the man at the post office, the Holy Spirit impressed me that I was relying on human sight to pray for people suffering from obvious physical conditions. After reminding me that the Proverb says “lean not on your own understanding”, the Holy Spirit prompted me to consider how my praying might change if I could see a person’s spiritual needs and respond with prayer for those.

Next year, I’ll turn 70. Raised from childhood in a mainline church, the stories of Noah, David and Goliath, Jonah and the whale, captured my young imagination. There wasn’t anything we couldn’t make out of Popsicle sticks, craft paper, paste, and Plaster of Paris during Sunday School hour. It was a joyful experience, fondly remembered. Yet somewhere along the line, I learned that God was a harsh judge, sending punishment on people who were bad. Whether that was expressly taught, I don’t know, it’s just the impression I was left with by the time I reached adulthood. Fear and insecurity were reinforced at home and school, where some times it felt like the only time I heard my name, was when an adult summoned me for inquisition and punishment.

Realistically, fear and insecurity were at work within me even from conception. I was born with a heart defect. No, not a physical defect, but a wound to my very being that somehow prevented me from receiving love. Mom even wrote about it in my baby book – how it broke her heart that I didn’t like to be held or kissed, refused to suckle, or receive any other form of affection. The curse followed me into adulthood where I often downplayed anyone’s expression of love for me. From sources unknown, condemnation rang in my ears and denied me the love and care of others.