Talking with a friend about New Year’s resolutions, he reminded me that I’m already a new creation and asked “so what’s to resolve”? I thanked him for that amazing insight and resolved then and there not to make any resolutions! So much for diet, weight loss and exercise regimens this year!

Seriously, I was thinking about a resolution for the new year to focus more on Jesus and less on the religious system I left behind. About that, I had been considering Lot’s wife, who couldn’t keep her eyes on where she was going, but instead looked back and paid with her life. Though there is no mention in scripture why Lot’s wife looked back, the Hebrew word for “looked” (H5027*) means to “regard with pleasure, favor or care.” The simplest explanation is not only did she disobey God’s command not to look back, she looked favorably upon what God called an abomination (Genesis 18:20) and that put her in opposition to God. For that, she was turned into a pillar of salt.

There is no pleasure in looking back at the religious system I left behind. And while the teachings there provide an abundance of blog-fodder, is it productive to expose and correct their every error?

Christ is NOT found in looking back. Nor is Christ found in correcting bad teaching.

Often, those who come out of man’s institutional church look for like-minded believers to fellowship with. Citing scripture as the example for how church meetings should be conducted, many look for a house church since that’s the way the Church met originally. But that’s the same error the institutional church makes, meeting in and around a building for an hour or two a week. And the few times I’ve met with other comer-outers to have “church”, it wasn’t so much for fellowship in and around Jesus like I’d hoped, it amounted to comparing war stories and battle scars from dealings with the system church they left. Conclusion? Christ is NOT found in comparing battle scars either.

So why write about it at all? What value is there in it? Pondering those questions, I had the most sobering thought. What if Lot had started a blog and called it “Escape from Sodom”? Imagine the things he could have written about; the many ways Sodom fell short of the Glory of God. Readers captivated by Lot’s first-hand accounts of wickedness in Sodom, punished by fire and brimstone hurled to earth by the very hand of God. What a horrifying and captivating blog that would have been!

But would there be any life in that? Is it fruit bearing? Is there fellowship to be found in what amounts to gathering around a smoldering ruins? There is neither light nor life in looking back. Like Paul writes:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8 ESV)

These are worthy of our focus, for they reflect the pure light that is Christ. Strangely, a smoldering ruin gives off light and perhaps that’s the fascination; but it is not the light of holiness, it is the light given off by God’s consuming fire provoked unto wrath by sin and wickedness (Deuteronomy 4:24, Hebrews 12:29). The light of Christ is pure and lovely; the other is darkened by billows of smoke and the acrid smell of sulfur. The one illuminates the way forward to everlasting life; the other marks the penalty for wickedness when the grace of God has been exhausted.

Christ is found among His people. As for where that is, the book of Hebrews calls it “outside the camp”. We don’t “go to Him” in a building, or petition Christ through another man. He goes wherever we go through the temple of our bodies in which He lives. Buildings don’t matter. About the time we figured all that out, I was introduced to the term “relational Christianity” the gist of which is simply walking with Christ in community with our brothers and sisters wherever He plants us. That made more sense to me than anything I ever heard in a system church. I’m in relationship with Christ and all who are in Christ, wherever I am, not just for an hour a week in a church building. Christ is my light and my life, and as a brother among many, my calling is to encourage His light and life in everyone.

If there’s value in writing about the things that lay behind me, it is for encouraging those whom the Spirit of God is liberating from bondage, for surely, those first few steps out of religious Babylon are fraught with heartache and uncertainty. There is comfort and reassurance in the testimony of those who have made their escape before and left their mark along the way. Decades ago when I came out, the simple encouragement of someone saying “you’re not alone” gave me the strength to push on.

Still feeling conflicted, the Lord led me to a passage from Paul who wrote “… we are not waging war according to the flesh … we destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ …” (2 Corinthians 10:3-6). Thus He confirmed to my Spirit that I’ve been about His business, even if it seems like I’m looking back upon the dead religious system and all its falsehoods He delivered me from. He further affirmed me with the memory of a recurring dream I’ve had for over 20 years.

Lined up to race a single lap around a track with many runners, all wearing track attire, I was hopeful of finishing strong, perhaps even winning the race. The gun sounded and everyone burst from the starting line, as did I only to find I was buckled into a harness and pulling a skid piled high with the baggage of all the runners who leapt out in front of me. Tiring quickly from pulling my burden yet still straining for the finish line, the judge continued starting other runners, who quickly passed me. Frustration mounted and I began to consider quitting the race. I didn’t question whether the burden was fair so much as I lamented that there was no possibility of winning or placing. Approaching the final corner people lined the infield to the finish line where I could see the judge start one last runner. Thinking to myself “I can beat him” I strained into the harness to finish first. After taking just 2 or 3 steps, the new runner blew past me like I was standing still and in complete exasperation I reached up to throw off my harness and quit the race. What point is there in running to be last? It was then the finish line came into view, where everyone was waiting for me, holding a ribbon across the finish line, and cheering me on with shouts, clapping and waving their arms. A tremendous surge of power came over me with their raucous encouragement and I leaned into the harness to complete the race. Seconds later, I crossed the finish line where the burden simply fell off and the crowd greeted me with hugs and holy kisses. It felt like family.

Perhaps my dream is the sort of burden Paul meant when he wrote “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2 ESV).

The day will come when we see Him face to face, the things of earth will fade away and our tears will be dried. Truly I long for that day. Until then, if I can lend a hand to a brother or sister to help illuminate the way or lighten the load while they run their race, I’m glad to help.

In the end, we all win.