It’s been awhile since the Lord gave me a spiritual dream or at least a dream so vivid that I remember and reflect on it for days, even weeks. It’s also been awhile since I last posted to my blog which has caused me to reflect on whether I should continue with it. I’m not compelled to delete my blog any more than the Israelites were compelled to fill in Jacob’s well or dismantle the rock altar by the Jordan. Nevertheless, there comes a time to “move on” from that which we’ve labored to build. And I can’t help but feel a kind of “it is finished” resolve in my spirit.
I don’t know if I’ve just run out of steam, things to say, or if the heart attack has simply altered my sense of priority. Perhaps the answer to that is in the dream the Lord gave me a few weeks ago.
Dream of Two Horses
On the far side of the river 2 horses stood on a rough trail that followed the water. Beyond the trail, a rocky hill with clumps of thickets rose beyond my view. The dark brown horse was fitted with saddle and bridle but had no rider. The tan horse had none. Without warning, the tan horse bolted up the hill, apparently trying to run around the saddled horse to the trail beyond. The saddled horse gave chase, showing itself to be trained for cutting and wrangling even without a rider. Taking an intercept angle, it forced the tan back onto the trail and to stop. It all happened in a matter of seconds – in a cloud of dust.
The tan horse bolted once more, this time over the brush covered bank of the river and into the water. It righted itself quickly and swam with the current as if intending to make its escape via the river and return to the trail downstream. But the water was deep and swift and swept the horse into the center channel.
My vantage point changed, as if drawn up higher and further down stream, where I saw a waterfall looming. Moving higher and farther downstream, the entirety of the waterfall became visible and I saw that halfway down there was a large rock, perhaps more than one, jutting out of the falls. The rocky outcrop seemed almost horn-like to me.
The tan horse’s effort to swim and escape the current was in vain, and even if it could move closer to the shore, it was covered with logs and trees making escape impossible. From high above and downstream from the falls, I watched the tan horse swept over the edge where it struck the rock and tumbled to the bottom of the falls.
Once again my vantage point changed as I was carried to the base of the falls where the tan horse lay partly in the water on a gravel bank. I had hoped for its survival but it did not. The hair on the visible side of its head was scraped or washed away.
That I last saw the saddled brown horse it remained on the trail above. Thus, ended the dream.
At first, I saw the dream as a warning. That someone near to me would perish because of a decision they would make, despite my best efforts to steer them to the right path. Lately, I have considered the dream as a message concerning the end of duality – of obedience confronting rebellion – of spirit confronting flesh. In the one interpretation, I was the saddled and bridled brown horse, a friend was the tan horse. In the other interpretation, I am both horses – the obedient and the rebellious.
There is another potential interpretation. A horse is a means of conveyance. A beast of burden created for man’s pleasure and to serve men. There is a sense in which the horses may have represented 2 kinds of ministry. The one clearly trained by the Lord upon which He rides and is lifted up in glory. The other, a ministry that operates independent of the Lord. Only the one trained and controlled by the Lord survives, by sticking to the path the Lord set before it. The other, by taking its own head and trying to force its way ahead, perishes.
If like other dreams the Lord has given me, the interpretation will be years in the unfolding. Still there are some obvious points to take away from it. The dream speaks to that which is wild and untamed coming to an end where only the tame and trained remains. That causes me to question whether my blog was born out of the side of me that is the obedient son and follower of God or the untamed side of me that always wants to push the envelope and take short cuts to get ahead.
Another takeaway is the potentially fatal consequence of a desperate personal decision. There really are no short cuts to spiritual growth. There is only walking the trail the Father has set before us. To the one side of the trail, an unscalable hill; to the other, an inescapable river. There also is a message of spirit and flesh. The one can be tamed and trained, the other can only be reckoned by destruction.
I’m also impressed with the difference between freedom and independence. As sons and daughters of the Most High, we enjoy a freedom within the One upon whom we depend for salvation. Independence on the other hand is to accept responsibility for one’s own actions and ultimately leads to death alone. Spiritually speaking, independence is false freedom. To borrow on the apostle Paul’s imagery of the body of Christ, independence is the hand saying to the rest of the body “I don’t need you”. But what can a hand do without a heart to keep it alive?
I think for now it’s best to be quiet and listen.